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pandemic perspective

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22 04 2020 There's a type of bittersweet evolution coming from this global crisis, a heightened voice in my head that is no longer softened or muffled by everyday distractions or conventions. Uncovered, re invented and nurtured to the point of no return, the voice says — let go of your insecurities. You don't need them, they hold you down. Feed your desires, tear your fears apart and leave them for dead. Take the leap, embrace the risk, soak up emotion, bathe in discomfort and bask in the warmth of new opportunities. Expand your perspective, crave satisfaction, express who you are, allow yourself to give into uncontrollable temptations. The world will carry you if you let it touch your soul, it will fuel your passion and feed your energy. Listen to your body, leave your mark and trust your heart. Practise relentless avidity, feel intensely, open heartedly, willingly and be unapologetic. Find yourself, grab it, and be that.
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Who are you? You are you.

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Who are you? This was a question that used to intimidate me. Like if I didn't have the right answer it would lead to a life long misery of mistakes and pain or something. Until I realised, that no one is you. No one can take you away from yourself, you are the person you decide to be in this very second, you cannot be defined. Not by a word, an action, a choice. Not by a mistake or an achievement. Who you are today, may not be the person you are tomorrow. In fact, I challenge you to change the utmost amount possible, in the next 24 hours. Because it’s not about who you are, it’s about the experiences you collect trying to answer that question.  
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well, shit

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my tears were warm. i don't know why i took so much notice of that. but it was like my heart was pouring out of my face. but really, it wasn't my heart. it was all the hope, all the new beginnings, all my old feelings, the locked up memories, all the things i convinced myself i didn't still have in my head, the box in the back of my mind, i swear it was locked with a hundred locks then it got so crowded i forgot it was there. but then, it came running down my face in a hot flush without warning. my face was melting, and for just a few seconds i came to the conclusion that my mind had finally exploded. i was frightened I'd have to start from scratch, that when i woke there'd be nothing there and my mind would be empty. but that was too much to hope for. because after those few seconds, everything was still there. just messed up, out of order, in a pile on the floor in my brain and more confusing than ever. More confusing, more distressing and yet, why did i feel s...
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