yellow socks.

For the last forever I thought you were so perfect. But now I know better, and I know you better. I've realised your not perfect, your even better. Even better than better. I will know this for longer than forever.

the times when nothing matters, not even life! Because in this very moment the past is long gone and the future doesn't exist, its right this very second that makes the world, the very earth I dance on, the air I breathe in, the life I taste on my tongue, the music fades away, same with the crazy words rolling down my spine and the shivers in my mouth......... just you. only you, shaking the sky, pinning my body down to the world but leaving my mind in the sky, holding my universe in your hands, in this very second. In this very moment. for him. @ 10.41pm... everything i never said.

We live in a world of white pillows, underwater cameras, ice cream parlours, roller coasters, movies, parties, beaches, mountains, snow flakes, tree houses, chocolate fountains, waterfalls, krispy kreme, poetry, strawberries, fluffy socks, cozy beds, popcorn, dance, laughs, spinning chairs, bathers, puppies, photos, crystals, music, tumblr, stars, wishes, glitter, books, love and dreams and you cannot find one reason to be happy?

So mad my breaths are like tornados spinning past my flaming thoughts, so bad I wanna just  blow some people out of my life. My chest, it hurts. The tears fall out like bucketing down rain, I'm surprised I haven't caved in yet. The anger slides down my last nerves like lava dripping painfully slow down the side of a volcano, just as red, hot and firey. My stomach turns like a hurricane, destroying anything stable, strong or sturdy inside me.   thinking straight is not an option. My eyelids are heavy, my soaking eyelashes weigh them down. How could you expect me to think straight when I can't even see straight? I'm building up on the inside, like falling snow. My world has just collapsed taking me down with it. Like an avalanche, buried deep past my knees in rage. Now I know why natural disasters are named after people.

You think you know, and yet you stare cluelessly into my eyes making it painfully hard to not grab your face and kiss you so, so much... you have not a single clue how you've changed my hopeless life to a dream come true, and my organised mind to such a beautiful mess, you have no idea the light I feel bursting inside me every second I'm with you and the smile on my face when you remind me how lucky I have come to be. You think you know, but you don't. I have never felt this stupid before, so obsessed, so impressed. So so so, in love.

Word: 'Amplify'. Everyone dreams of standing out, being noticed, being heard. When I want to express myself, be understood or even just heard, I'm loud. But all speaking loudly does is make people stop and look. It's someone's vibe that makes them stand out in the crowd.  When their passion screams louder than any voice and their love dims the noise. So I'm gonna amplify my heart for the world to hear it beat, amplify the happiness to stream through everyone that catches a smile, Amplify my dreams to stretch beyond the sky and amplify my love for the world to stop and look.

" its happening again, the bubbles. making me float! not literally but ooohhhh i feel like it. everything comes so smooth, so easy, like im breathing chocolate flavoured bubbles out my mouth everytime i speak. it floats around the room and lands on my toes making the energy rise from my feet to the top of my head. i can feel the world spinning beneath me, it calls my name. my knees tip. i can see the sky. my head, it spins. like the ground! faster an faster... my heart, thats going fast too. i think theres excitement exploding inside me. it hurts a bit. like not having something you want so desperately. get it out, get it out! the party in my chest the music in my head. so loud, so loud. i cant think anything but... happy, happy so so happy, so dizzy, oooohhhh so dizzy! "

This horrid long, rainy winter swirling around outside the window makes me shiver just thinking of stepping beyond my room, and all of a sudden life gets so overwhelming. Like all this rain is flooding my motivation up into a big useless puddle, drop by drop. The idea of standing out, is stupid when slouched on this couch I'm struggling to stand up, thinking about my future is the least of my worries when I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. But staring out at the gloomy day through the frosty glass made me realise, I can't expect to skip all the puddles in life, because you'd end up missing a lot and even though wet feet aren't pleasant, jumping straight in is so worth the splash.

Must everything have a reason?  Must everyone have an explanation?  Must everywhere mean something? Must nothing mean nothing? When someone asks you whats wrong, and you assure them it's 'nothing'. 9 times out of 10 its something.  Why when you say 'nothing' you have so many things on your mind, and when you say 'something'.... its an excuse for 'nah, I got nothin.' How do blank pages speak louder than novels of useless information?  White lies,  Black hearts,  Black clothes and white minds,  Grey dreams.   How does a mind set completely change a person?  How can you try so hard to change and stay exactly the same? Why does the right thing please people, and we all dream of the 'wrong' things.  Who made the rules? Why did we decide it was right to follow the rules?  What even is the right thing?  Why are we picked on for being different, awarded for not being the same...When no ones the same? ...